Ulysses (ulyart) wrote in philos_o_fun,

Café au lait and my free will experiment.

Now, I know that the universe bifurcates everytime I make a choice (if I choose “A,” then a new universe branches off from our own, in which I chose “B”), so today I decided to give the universe a rest. I decided to not make a choice.

Well, I didn’t exactly decide, since that would be self-contradictory. It was more an intuition that came spontaneously, just when I was getting ready to drink a steaming mug of café au lait at the breakfast table.

So I paused, with my elbows resting on the round wooden table. I didn’t reach for the mug. I didn’t not reach for it either. I can’t say I did nothing, because clearly what I was doing was avoiding the choice entirely, and yet in such a pointed way that it was anything but avoidance.

The steam wafted gently from my cup. It was just this suspended moment of not-deciding. I thought it was lovely at first.

The room suddenly grew very quiet.

It was excruciating. At first it was just sense of dullness, as if my head were swathed in wool, then came heaviness, then out-right anguish. It was hard to know if this was all in my head, or if there was some kind of environmental phenomena—but it sure felt like the walls were pressing in on me—like I was the focus of sudden attention-- you know those surround-and-orbit camera close-ups? I was caught in one of those.

In a spontaneous gesture, I snatched up the white ceramic mug, took a gulp of the cold coffee, and set the mug back on the table. Like a gently deflating balloon, the anguish drained away. Things were back to normal. The universe hummed along. I had that eerie feeling of not knowing if I had chosen to pick up the mug, or if it had been chosen for me.

But I think the universe made it quite clear. It wants to bifurcate. We have no choice, we must exercise free will, often, because it contributes to the dimensional richness of the cosmos.
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I might argue (because i like to play devils advocate, to double my ways of peciving things), that not deciding, as you did intentionally, is a choice of its own. (odd, i was dicussing this on the phone earlier) Seems that no matter what you somehow have a mechanism to choose, and choosing wheher to evaqluate and make a Studied decision, or just go with it is also a decision (wether consious or not, is beoynd the scope of this meger post).

Perhaps this already occured to you in more elequent phraseology, but choice, like all logic, cannot be reduced to simple aristitalian thought(black whate, yes/no, etc), where would you draw the line between choice an non-choice? you are semi consiously choosing to breathe, and somtimes that becomes consious, but it always changes to suit your needs. You can choose to hold your breath till you pass out, to hyperventilate, or you can choose to not bother, but drawing a line at where choice begins is absurd.

"When you untangle reality, what is left?"